I have a lot of things in mind, ideas conceived but the problem is that I cannot implement it at the moment when I think of my present situation, taking care of baby, deciding when is the next step for me if I have to stay with my in-laws so that I won't be bothered of being alone when it comes to taking care of my little one.
Hubby usually goes to work and I will be left at home and my mind thinks crazy things that I can be upset sometimes when I don't stay strong. But when I think of God that He is always there for me, I get back on my knees to pray and He gives me the strength that I need.
I am also thinking that my blog will be stagnant also if I need to stay away and I will be offline or irregular online to check my emails, my article writing and so much more. I really do need to consider some breather so that when baby gets a bit bigger, at least I would not be worrying too much unlike the way I used to.
I don't know if I will be able to do blogging and do my hobby at the same time. But I was really aiming to earn money for Christmas is soon to come, but what else can I do, I am limited. I just think if I was back in my own country, it would have been easier or I am more comfortable.
Most of the times, my mind shouts a lot how much I need my mom to be by my side and help me with my little one. But I cannot do anything unless I have the money to take her here or for me to visit back home, when most of the time I feel homesick. It's not like before that when I was alone, I can do something. When I became a mother, it was different, it was more responsibility for me to think of and all I wanted is to be strong and get the day going.
Thirty-eight days before Christmas, I will surely miss the most happiest Christmas celebration of all, which is in the Philippines, sighhhh! Wishing we were all together for Christmas!